PS I Still Love You
by claceXfangirl
Summary: Clary has to leave Jace because she has no choice but to do so. She leaves him a letter hoping that he would find it but he never does. He tries to find her but she is gone. Then they meet again at Isabelle's party... Will they come back together or has time pulled them apart?
1. Chapter 1

**WARNING: ALL MUNDANE STORY**

**Disclaimer: I do not own The Mortal Instruments**

P.S. I NEVER STOPPED LOVING YOU

PROLOUGE

_Dear Jace,_

_I know that we have been together for almost four years now. I know that you are weirded out about why I have ignored you for the this past month. But the knowledge will only hurt you. When I first saw you at the club, I thought you were just out to get my heart and shatter it into a million pieces... I hated you then... but you showed me that you would never hurt me... which is why I am going to regret doing what I am about to do for the rest of my life... I am sorry Jace... I am leaving you... It is for your own good. You can do so much better than a short girl with orange hair and ghastly green eyes. I regret doing this but if I don't it will hurt you a lot later. Isabelle knows the reason. Go ask her... but I doubt she will tell you... Find a better person for yourself... Goodbye_

_Love, Clary._

_P.S. I still love you even if you will hate me after reading this..._

I just wish Jace had found this letter... it would have saved us a lot of trouble...

**A.N. I know this was short but it is just the prologue. Longer chapters later **** Read and review **


	2. Flashbacks and Goodbyes

**Disclaimer: I do not own The Mortal Instruments**

CLARY :

Clary wrote the last bit of letter to Jace with a heavy heart and tears streaming down her freckled cheeks. She knew that she had to do this sooner or later and she had put it off till the last moment possible. She sealed her letter and signed her name in front of it. She opened her sketch book which was lying on the desk and flipped randomly through the pages. Her drawings ranged from happy in the beginning to depressing towards the end. S he flipped open a page randomly and it landed on the drawing of the club in which she had first met Izzy's Jace, annoying brother and her soon to be ex-boyfriend.

_FLASHBACK_

_She entered the club in a plum coloured dress that hugged her and then puffed out till her knees. Her makeup was light and consisted of light purple eyeshade, eyeliner and a peach coloured lip gloss .Her waist length red curls were down and her green eyes were searching for something or someone. She spotted Isabelle sitting at the bar drinking something and went to sit near her._

_Isabelle faced her and then she introduced her to her brother Jace. He smirked at her and lazily ran his gold eyes up and down her body... she thought she saw them darken a bit but the darkness was gone in a flash and she thought that she had imagined it. She hated him instantly. He then even proceeded to call her 'red' and that's when she lost it. She stormed off out of the club and found herself in a dark alley._

_She was so angry that she did not notice a figure come up behind her...it was a man...no...a teenage boy. He pushed her roughly against the wall and started kissing her. She tried to scream but her voice was muffled by his mouth. He pinned her hands above her head and kissed her with more force. She was crying by now and suddenly that boy was pulled off of her._

_He fell to the round and when he looked up she saw his pitch black eyes. She sank to the ground and did not register what happened next. Suddenly she was enveloped in a warm embrace by two strong arms. It was none other than Jace in all his golden glory. But when he pulled back, she looked at him all she saw was worry and concern. She was so scared at the moment that she hugged him again with more force and he held her in his arms. That was the time when she saw the caring Jace and not the cocky Jace._

_Later she went to stay at Isabelle's and there she and Jace bonded greatly._

_END OF FLASHBACK_

Clary shivered at the memory and snapped her sketch book shut. She missed Jace but she know that she should leave and soon. The doctor's words ringed in her ears as she shuffled through her apartment packing up every last piece of her belongings. She looked at the letter she had written once again and decided to call Isabelle knowing that her friend would help her out.

Izzy picked up on the third ring and said in irritated voice "What?"

"Izzy... I need you to come over to my apartment... now."

"Clary? What's wrong? And are you crying?"

"Izzy, just come . I can't explain everything over the phone."

"Okay... I'll be over in ten minutes... This better be good Fray or I will have messed up my just painted nails for nothing."

"Yeah... I need to tell and give you something. See you in ten."

"Yeah"

Clary waited for the agonizing ten minutes in her now bare apartment. Soon she heard a knock on the door and got up from the couch to open the door. It was Izzy. She burst into the apartment and shut the door with a bang behind her and went straight to the couch. She sat down and commanded,

"Clary...Spill!"

Clary sighed and said "Izzy... I'm leaving. I have to...

Isabelle's eyes went wide and she stared in shock at her friend before saying,

"C-Clary...Jace will be devastated!"

Clary sighed again and said, "I know...that's why you need to give him this letter. Don't him the real reason why I am leaving or he will try to find me... but I will tell you because I need to...it's eating me up from the inside...I...I am leaving because...

-TIME LAPSE-

Isabelle's eyes were as round as saucers by the time Clary finished. She listened in shock as Clary finished off her story.

"How much time do you have?"

"Six months"

"_Six months?!"_

"Yes Iz"

"And when are you leaving New York?"

"In about... an hour..."

"_AN HOUR?!"_

Clary sighed for the third time and said,_ " _YES! NOW WILL YOU _PLEASE _ STOP REPEATING EVERY SINGLE WORD I SAY?!...Sorry... It's just that I am a bit jumpy now that I am leaving..."

"It's ok... Anyways... come on I am dropping you off at the airport."

"Ok... let me just take my luggage"

ISABELLE :

They both climbed into the car and rode in silence. It was not an awkward silence just a comfortable one. Isabelle parked the car at the airport and helped Clary with the luggage. She then took a good look at her friend whom she would see for the last time and felt like bawling but kept herself strong for Clary. She watched as Clary piled her luggage on a trolley and turn towards her. A moment passed between them and as if in sync the both fell into each others' arms and hugged as if their life depended on it. Isabelle felt a wetness on her shoulder and realized that Clary was crying. Soon she realized that she too was crying.

They both stayed like that for a minute or two before Clary pulled away. She wiped her tears as well as Isabelle's and gave a small smile. No words were exchanged between them but Isabelle felt her silent goodbye. And she returned it with one of her own. She watched as her friend went into the airport closer towards the flight that would take her to California. Isabelle wondered if she would ever see Clary again.

And then she remembered it. The letter. Now came the difficult part. Sneaking in and putting it in Jace' s room without him noticing it. Maybe... Just maybe she could get this letter in Jace's room. If he read it he would chase after Clary and get her back and all would be right again.

At that time she did not realize how wrong, just how wrong she was...

**A.N.: Liked it? I tried to make the chapter a bit long... anyways... any guesses on how Jace is going to react to this? Please review =) I love reviews! =)**


	3. Doctor Lewis and the big bad news

**Disclaimer: I do not own The Mortal Instruments.**

CLARY:

She entered her new place in California. It was a nice penthouse... what can you say. After all she was a rich artist. She took the keys from the previous owners of the house and could now call the penthouse as her own.She knew that she needed to get to the art gallery in which she was going to resume selling her paintings. But most importantly she needed to get to her doctor in California.

She still remembered everything that had happened in New York before writing that letter. She had been going to the art gallery. She took a cab and just as she was about to step out... she collapsed. She had been rushed to the Hospital. She remembered her doctor's words very clearly...

_FLASHBACK_

"_How much more time do I have?" Her voice was much serene and much calmer than she would have expected it to be. _

_Her doctor looked at her with a grave expression and said," Six months... Seven if you are lucky..."_

"_Can't anything be done?" She asked desperately , "Anything at all?" _

"_There is one thing. But it has certain side-effects..."_

"_Look... I am ready to face any kind of shit you give me.. Just make me better and get that thing out of me before I die!"_

"_Miss Fray, you are in a hospital... I suggest you maintain certain decorum and-"_

"_Look. I'm sorry. Just...do something."_

"_I would suggest an MRI scan before proceeding."_

_She thought for a bit about it. "Can you please seal all the documents regarding this and send them to an attached hospital in California? Apparently I think I'm going to move there soon enough."_

"_Yes Miss Fray. I will send them to the Beth Israel Hospital in California to Doctor Lewis. He is an excellent Neurosurgeon."_

" _Thank you Doctor Brown. It would be good if you did not mention this little mishap to anyone."_

"_Of course. See you later Miss Fray."_

_She exited room. She had already made up her mind and it caused her to tear to a bi. She quickly brushed away a few stray tears and made her way back home."_

_END OF FLASHBACK_

Now the only thing on her agenda that was most important was to see Doctor Lewis. Lewis... That name sounded familiar. She decided to go for that scan in Beth Israel Hospital.

But before that she needed to call Isabelle to see if her letter had been sent.

ISABELLE:

Isabelle was pacing up and down the corridor out of Jace's room. Tensely she peered into his room caught his glare and backed out again.

"What the hell are you doing Iz!?"

Hastily she gave a reply, "Nothing! Just... you know... hanging around... I guess?"

"Do you have something you want to tell me?"

"No! I mean... yes!... it's just... ... I want you try my cooking!" she said creatively.

Jace groaned and said, " Iz. No. Just.. NO. I think I'll go see Clary. I don't know what's wrong with her lately. She seems so distant. I think I'll go see her right now -"

"NO!... I mean you can see her but not now –"

"OK WHAT THE HELL ISABELLE! ARE YOU FREAKING CRAZY?! YOU KNOW WHAT... I'M GOING OUT."

Isabelle did a happy jig in her mind as Jace stormed off to god knows where . As soon as he was out she shot into his monk like room and kept the letter on his bed side table. She was so focused on getting out of his room that she did not notice how the letter was kept. She had kept it right on his pile of trash papers.

Poor Isabelle... Had it not been for that little mistake a whole lot of drama would never have unfolded.

CLARY:

She was trying to reach Isabelle but she wouldn't pick up her damn phone! Clary cursed under loudly and the old cab driver shot her a glare through the rear view mirror. She quickly shut up and shot Isabelle a couple of texts. The cab pulled up to the entrance of Beth Israel Hospital. Clary threw a couple of twenties at the cab driver and told him to keep the change. He drove off muttering something about a 'manner less ,feisty, dwarf like, red head'. Clary ignored him and walked up to the receptionists desk. The receptionist was a stern looking lady with her brown hair in a tight bun and a permanent frown on her face. She looked up as Clary came and asked in a surprisingly gentle voice,

" how may I help you?"

"Could you please tell me where Doctor Lewis is?"

"Down this corridor. First left and then the second right. His cabin is the last one in that corridor."

"Thank you" With that Clary left in search of his cabin. Soon she found it and knocked on the translucent glass door. She heard a disturbingly familiar voice say,

"Come in!"

She opened the door noiselessly and slid in the cabin and came face to face with a person she thought she would never see again.

She gasped and said, "Simon?!" almost as if not believing herself.

His brow creased and then his face showed a flash of recognition.

"Clary? Clary?!" he exclaimed

"Simon where did you disappear to after high school?"

"I had to move here. Sorry for not telling. It was quite sudden" he said sheepishly. " What brings you here, anyways?" he asked.

Clary turned serious and said, "Simon... The files you will have received yesterday... They were mine. Did you even bother to look at the name?"

Simon looked at her in shock. "Clary are you... are you sure about it? The reports might be wrong..."

Clary sighed and looked at him as if she was frustrated. She made an irritated noise and said," Why would the reports be wrong?"

He looked unsatisfied and said, "Look Clary I do NOT want to take chances about a situation like this. I need to take a full MRI scan. Then I will be able to tell you anything else."

"Fine. Can you take it now?"

"Yes. I will call the receptionist and tell her to get the scan room ready."

He called the receptionist and gave her the message. In about fifteen minutes we were called to take the scan. The scanning took only about fifteen minutes. Simon told Clary to wait in his cabin while he got the reports. She went and sat down in his cabin reading a magazine

Twenty minutes later he came in holding a file containing her reports. His face was tense as he read the reports. He occasionally muttered to himself about how this was not right and how it shouldn't be happening while Clary looked at him, her nerves a jumbled mess. Slowly he put the file down. He took a couple of deep breaths. He looked up at Clary with a worried and tense expression on his face and said the words that she so much dreaded to hear. Those words that were the cause of all her tears, pain and unhappiness.

"Clary... It's true... You have brain tumour... which might cause memory loss."

**A.N.: That's all for now :D Clary left because she didn't want Jace to see her in that condition! Liked it? Please review! I really love reviews! Bye for now! **


	4. Filler chapter

**AN: Sorry for the late update. There might be some mistakes in this chapter because I am typing on my ipad.**

JACE :

He walked down the street towards Central Park. He was wondering whta happened to Clary. She had not called him in like forever and was getting worried. Normally she called him atleast twicw a day. But he had not heard a peep from her in the past two days.

He searched his pockets and cursed under his breath when he found out that he had left his phone back at home. He turned on his heel and began on his way back home. He rushed up the steps of The Institute (the place was really old and so it was called The Institute). On his way he found Alec lounging on the couch with Magnus, Alec's boyfriend.

" Hey Jace what's the rush?"

"I left my phone and Clary might have called. She hasn't called in two days now !"

Alec laughed and said" Dude, you are so whipped!"

Magnus butted in and said," Darling you have been dating for sooo long now! Propose already!"

Jace smirked and thought to himself 'that's what I have been planning to do for a long time now'

" Anytime now, Magnus!" He said to the glittery male. " for now I gotta go."

with that he left a squealing Magnus and an amused Alec and ambled up the steps to his room.

He entered in and found his phone on the table right where he had left it while screaming at Isabelle.

Ge looked at the table and frowned when he saw that the litter pile was still on it. He took the papers and threw them in the trashcan and left the room

* * *

UNIVERSAL:

the letter lay right at the bottom where Jace had left the trash papers. It would have saved them a lot of trouble if the letter had actually been opened.

**AN: This was just a filler chapter. Sorry for the long wait.**


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